When my husband and I became foster parents many years ago, we were told to think about the type of child we thought we could take in. I remember my belief at that time was that a special needs child would probably be more than we could handle. I didn’t think I had the skills, money or patience needed to care for a child with special needs.

We were given children who needed time, love, and attention.  We received children who needed guidance and support and encouragement. And I learned a very important lesson: ALL foster kids have special needs!  ‘Special’ means to be different from the usual and ‘need’ means to require something. It isn’t usual to be taken from your home and sent to live with strangers, even nice ones. It isn’t usual to have to change schools, friends, and everything from the food you eat to the laundry soap your clothes are washed in. It isn’t usual to have to learn to adapt to a new way of life, especially without any say in the matter. This life experience is unique to foster children and therefore makes them special. It takes someone who understands this unusual circumstance to see that their needs are met, and they are supported.

Parents have ‘special needs’. Having your children removed from your care is not typical. Being given a long list of tasks that must be completed to resume parenting unsupervised is overwhelming. It isn’t usual to have to be watched, and only “visit” your children while others raise them. This experience is heart wrenching, and often filled with shame, embarrassment, and strife. It takes people who understand what this separation does to parents, to make sure that their needs are met, and that they are supported.

Foster parents have ‘special needs’. It isn’t usual to take other people’s children into your home. It isn’t usual to bathe, care for, feed, comfort, and discipline other people’s kids. It isn’t usual to fall in love with children knowing your heart will break a little (or a lot!) when they reunify with their parents…….only to do the same thing all over again with the next child. This experience is unique to foster parents and makes them special. It takes people who understand what foster care is about to see that their needs are met, and that they are supported. 

How can you help meet these special needs of children who experience abuse and neglect? Some people may be able to be Foster Parents, others can volunteer to be a CASA and Advocate for the child who cannot speak for themselves in court.  Many people generously donate their gently used children’s clothing, toys, and infant items to CASA for distribution when a child must be placed out of their home. Some help organize the items at our donation area.  Still others can contribute financially, or volunteer to help with fundraising events so that we can continue to train and support people who do the invaluable work of Child Advocacy. Some are participants in our fundraising events, like our upcoming Kevin Kennedy 5K Memorial Race, knowing the money raised makes a huge difference right here at home. Every one of us has a way to help meet the needs of children in Lincoln County.  We appreciate whatever special way you feel you can support CASA.

By Deirdre Nichelson, Executive Director, Lincoln County CASA